


A Briefs Family Christmas

by Embarassedbutkinky



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Cookies, Christmas Fluff, Dad Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Domestic Fluff, Family, Family Feels, First Christmas, Gen, Multi, Parenthood, Saiyan Culture, Secret Relationship, Sibling Rivalry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2020-02-08 17:22:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18627799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Embarassedbutkinky/pseuds/Embarassedbutkinky
Summary: When Bulla finds out about a holiday she's never heard of before she confronts her family and asks to try it. The odd clan has never attempted a real Christmas before, but they decide to go for it. What's the worst that could happen? Heads up, my Bulla tends to lean towards Louise Belcher's personality. She is a tiny female Vegeta and no one can tell me otherwise. Mostly Vegebul, some Truten in later chapters.





	1. Chapter 1

Bulma had nothing against Christmas. She'd always liked it as a kid. Her parents had used a chunk of their considerable wealth to make sure their daughter had whatever she wanted under the tree, anything from Play-Doh to Capsule Cars. She'd always intended to do the same with her own children, but life got in the way.

Trunks was born in November, and by the time Christmas rolled around she was too tired to care. Vegeta certainly hadn't been helping with late night feedings; back then he'd spent about a fourth of his nights in her bed, and often pretended he didn't have a son. He'd grown out of that a long time ago, but she still brought up how much work she'd done that first year when they were arguing. With the androids coming and a hungry baby on her hip, Christmas was the last thing on her mind.

The next year was just after the Cell Games. Goku had just died, and Vegeta was silently pouting about how he'd been shown up by a child. Again, she'd pushed the holiday aside. After that… she just let it go. She wasn't a kid anymore, and Vegeta did not understand Earth holidays. She'd buy Trunks a present, they'd have a particularly nice meal, and she'd do something special for Vegeta in bed. That was that.

Things hadn't changed after Bulla was born. The girl knew that in December they had a good day where she got a few nice, expensive presents, and Dad was usually in a good mood for some reason. She hadn't questioned it before, but this year was different. This year she was in kindergarten.

December twelfth was their last day of school before a break, and she was at least looking forward to that. She liked school, and most of her class, but she wasn't going to turn down three weeks of freedom.

The teacher spent the morning letting them make snowflakes with safety scissors, then read a book about the holiday. She sat studiously on the colorful mat while her classmates squirmed around her. She listened until the end, and then raised her hand.

"Yes, Bulla dear?" Miss Kater asked.

"Isn't an enlarged heart a serious medical problem?"

Miss Kater sighed; she was still getting used to Bulla Briefs. "In real life, yes it is."

"Do the Whos have good healthcare? I didn't see any hospitals in the village."

"Bulla, remember we talked about metaphors? The Grinch's heart growing was a metaphor. It meant he could love everyone in the village and see the true meaning of the holiday."

"Duh," a little girl rolled her eyes next to Bulla. "You're weird, Briefs."

"I just think it's unrealistic,  _ Mausette _ ," Bulla grumbled. There were some things she wasn't going to miss during break.

"You think a bad guy can't get a heart and be a good guy?" A boy asked behind her.

"No, that's believable, it happened to my daddy. I just mean all the fake words like Jing Tinglers and Flu Foopers and Christmas."

There was a heavy pause. Mausette spoke first. "Bulla doesn't know what Christmas is!"

The children laughed, and Bulla felt her cheeks get warm. "Sure I do!" She lied.

"That's enough!" Miss Kater snapped at the class. "Many people celebrate different holidays during the winter. Maybe Bulla's family does something else, or maybe not. It is perfectly fine for people to have different traditions. Bulla, Christmas is a popular holiday some families celebrate during our winter break. Now, everyone get your snacks. We're going to watch The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, and then we're going to compare it to the book."

The class quickly forgot about the moment, but Bulla didn't. She was pulling her snack out of her cubby when she heard Mausette snickering again with a few other girls. She narrowed her eyes at her, wishing she was allowed to punch her classmates, but Mom had been  _ very _ clear that wasn't allowed.

"What?" She snapped.

"Oh, nothing," Mausette smiled, and her friends covered their mouths and giggled. "I'm just surprised that a family as rich as yours doesn't even know how to celebrate Christmas."

"What does money have to do with it?" Bulla asked.

Mausette shrugged. "Well, if you were poor it'd make sense, but your parents can afford anything. If they don't do anything for you, that must mean they don't like you very much."

Bulla snorted. "That's stupid."

"Miss Kater! Bulla said stupid!"

"We don't use that word," the teacher called distractedly, trying to convince two boys on the other side of the room that glue was not an acceptable snack. "Say your sorry, Bulla."

Bulla lowered her voice. "I'm sorry you're an asshole."

Mausette scoffed. "I shouldn't expect anything less from a girl who doesn't know what Christmas is. Your whole family must be like wild animals."

"Take that back." Bulla warned.

" _ My _ family has a great Christmas every year," Mausette smiled. "We go up to the mountains and have a  _ huge _ party, and Santa brings me whatever I want."

"I don't care. Go away."

"Girls," Miss Kater called, gathering everyone. "Come on now, everyone needs to sit down."

They headed toward their desks. Mausette opened her lunchbox and tossed a cookie on Bulla's desk as she walked by it.

"Since you won't get any because your Momma can't make them," she whispered, sitting angelically at her desk and folding her hands obediently.

Bulla frowned, turning the cookie over in her hands. It was shaped like a tree with polka dots for some reason. She waited until Mausette turned to look at her, then crushed the cookie firmly in her hand, dropping the crumbs on the floor.

\----------------------

 

Twenty soccer moms and a few fathers stood outside the school, waiting to pick up their children for the winter break. Only one of them had ever been brave enough to speak to him.

Henny was a woman with no fear, proven by the fact that seven children in the school were hers. Most of the parents tended to ignore her; she was a little too brutally honest and loud for their tastes. Today she pulled her bright coat around her a little tighter in the cold breeze.

"Don't you ever dress warm, Vegeta?"

"No," he grunted. He stood stoically among the group in a tank top with his arms crossed and a mild scowl on his face.

"Is your house kept this cold? It feels like my eyeballs are going to freeze over."

"No. We keep it warm. The Woman prefers it that way."

"What about Bulla?"

"Bulla is not a weakling."

Henny laughed. "Is Bulma working today?"

"Yes," he rolled his eyes. "She gets busy this time of year."

"Oh I guess she would. Capsule Corp's toy division must be swamped."

"Perhaps. I hadn't asked," he muttered.

The children came trickling out of the building and his scowl softened. Bulla walked straight to him and held her arms up so he could scoop her up. Henny waved hello to her before she took her twin boys' hands.

"What did you guys do today?" Henny asked warmly.

"They ate glue," Bulla said flatly, looking down at them. "I think Marco swallowed a penny."

Henny sighed and started her nearly daily lecture about what was food and what was not as Vegeta lifted Bulla effortlessly into the air and started toward home. Henny caught sight of them leaving.

"Oh, bye Vegeta, bye Bulla! Happy holidays!"

Bulla frowned. Again about the holidays. Maybe her family really was missing something.

"You look pissed," Vegeta said, glancing at her. "Was it that Mausette? Did she make fun of your rainbow pencil case again?"

"Not really " she half-lied.

"What, then?"

"We read a silly book about a grumpy man with a heart condition."

"Seems like an odd choice for small children."

"It was. Is Mommy home?"

"Not yet. She should be home in time to make dinner. She wanted to celebrate Trunks coming back to visit."

Bulla smiled. She'd been so caught up in school she'd almost forgotten her brother was getting out of college for a break as well. That would be entertaining. "Can I put unicorn stickers all over his room before he gets back?"

"Do you have enough stickers to do that? I don't want to stop at the store."

"I  _ always _ keep an emergency stash."

"Knock yourself out."

She cheered.

\-----------------------

 

"You do actually eat at school, right?" Bulma asked. It was past six and they'd just started dinner; she'd insisted on waiting for her son to get home.

Trunks looked up from his dinner with a full mouth and just raised an eyebrow at her.

"The way your scarfing down your pork chops you'd think you hadn't eaten in months," she laughed.

He smiled, quickly chewing to answer. "I guess I just missed home-cooked food. I've been too busy to make anything, so it's usually fast food for me."

"He's too busy partying in bedsheets," Bulla accused.

Vegeta frowned. "Bedsheets?"

"I saw it on TV," she nodded. "College kids wear bedsheets and drink alcohol and stay up all night."

"We're not paying for that," Vegeta warned him.

Trunks held his hands up innocently. "She's seen too much TV, Dad. I'm double majoring, I barely have time to shower. I'm  _ so _ glad to get a break. I kinda miss being home."

"We don't miss you," Bulla smiled. "With you gone Daddy and I get to split the extra food Mom makes because she's used to cooking for four."

"I'll adjust," Bulma sighed. "It's just so weird to know your room is empty at night. My tiny baby, already in college. Soon you'll be getting married and moving out, and then there's grandchildren to think about--"

"Woah!" Trunks said, stopping her. "Relax, Mom. That isn't happening for a long time."

"So you aren't dating?"

Trunks shifted uncomfortably, pushing his pork chop with his fork. "I… I didn't say that…"

"Trunks has a girlfriend!" Bulla laughed loudly. "Where'd you meet her, RadioShack?"

"It's not a robot," he rolled his eyes. "Look, I've just been really busy like I said. I don't have time for much else."

"You have time to be a nerd," Bulla smiled sweetly.

"Shut up, Brat."

"Enough," Vegeta said simply, pulling more meat onto his plate. "Change the subject."

Bulla nodded, sitting up straight in her chair. She'd been preparing this for a few hours. "Okay. I have a question."

Bulma tilted her head at her five year old. "What is it Sweetheart?"

"Why don't we celebrate Christmas?"

They all paused, turning to look at her.

She decided to go on. "Today in class we learned about Christmas, and I heard most families around here celebrate it every year. Why not us?"

"What the hell is Christmas?" Vegeta asked.

Bulma smiled sadly. "There's no real reason we don't celebrate, Bulla. We've just always been busy. Christmas is a lot of work."

"Is it fun?"

Bulma nodded. "We used to have huge Christmases here when I was a kid. We'd get a tree tall enough to reach the ceiling, we'd carol, we'd drink hot apple cider… wow, it's been a long time."

"What  _ is _ it?" Vegeta asked again.

"You know Christmas," Bulma rolled her eyes. "We usually have that special day around the end of December? You know, the one you  _ really _ like?" She winked.

"Oh," he smirked. "I like that day. What's the problem, then? We do it."

"Most families do a lot more," Bulma admitted. "Maybe I  _ should _ be putting more effort in…"

"Can we have a Christmas?" Bulla asked. "Please? I've never had one."

Bulma grinned, but Vegeta scoffed. "Earth holidays are pointless, Bulla."

"Did Saiyans have a winter holiday?" She asked.

"Yes. It involved the youngest members of the family gathering together and killing a common enemy. Then they had a nice meal to commemorate it."

"Hmm…" Bulla said, thinking seriously. "I think Christmas sounds more fun."

"There's no reason for it," he insisted. "You'll still get your yearly present. Just drop it."

Bulla grumbled, drumming her fingers against the table top.

"What, Princess?" He asked. "You dislike large events as much as I do. You wouldn't like it anyway."

"I just… I don't want Mausette to be right."

He paused. "What?"

"Mausette said we don't celebrate Christmas because we're all wild animals, and that if you guys won't make it happen with all our money then you must not like me very much."

Vegeta looked like someone had hit him in the face with his pork chop. "Excuse me?"

"She said her family does a huge party every year, and that they're a lot better than us because we don't do anything. She made fun of me. It made me mad."

Vegeta set down his fork.

Bulma held up a warning finger. "Vegeta, we've talked about this. We can talk to the teacher if Bulla is having a problem in school. You're not allowed to physically threaten five year olds."

"This isn't about revenge on that little demon spawn," he spat. "It's the principle of the thing. She insulted Bulla's pride."

Bulma put a hand to her forehead. "Oh gods, not this again…"

"Yes she did," Bulla nodded enthusiastically, seeing she had a bite on the hook. "We could have a better Christmas than her family, right Daddy?"

"Your damn right we could!" He said, slapping the table. "Dinner's over. Everyone meet in the living room immediately."

"Why?" Bulma smiled, seeing where this was going.

"Because we have to show up that little bitch," he announced. "We'll have a Christmas so perfectly constructed it'll put hers to  _ shame. _ "

"Is this really happening?" Trunks asked skeptically. "Like, I've seen it on TV before, but it always seems a little too cheesy for us."

"I said now, Boy," Vegeta called over his shoulder as he strode past him. Bulla had crawled up her father's shoulders, grinning wildly. "This is war!"

Trunks looked at him mother nervously. "Aren't holidays supposed to be about having fun?"

"Not for Saiyans, apparently," she laughed. Come on, we better help them."

"Do we have to?"

"Literally neither of them know anything about the holiday."

Trunks sighed. "Just a few weeks of rest, that's all I wanted…"

  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Bulma pulled the cap of the marker off with her teeth and wrote CHRISTMAS at the top. Trunks quickly returned from the 'mission' Vegeta had sent him on, dropping four library books about the holiday onto the coffee table. Bulla sat cross-legged on the couch, reporting everything she'd learned about Christmas at school while Vegeta listened attentively.

"Then Mausette threw a weirdly shaped cookie on my desk and said Mom couldn't make them."

"Woman, do you know how to make cookies?"

Bulma shrugged.

"Well, have you achieved this event or not?"

"You don't  _ achieve _ holidays, Vegeta," Bulma said. "The point is having fun. Besides, I haven't had a real Christmas in almost twenty years. I can probably manage some pre-packaged sugar cookies."

"Put it on the list."

Bulma wrote 'cookies' under the header, then quickly started writing more beneath it.

"What is all that?"

"If we're gonna do this, let's do it right," Bulma announced. "Christmas essentials; a tree, presents, Santa Claus, decorations, and stockings."

He raised an eyebrow. "Stockings? I thought you only wore those in bed."

She cleared her throat as Trunks tried hard to pretend he hadn't heard that. "Not that kind of stockings, Vegeta. You hang big socks over the mantel, and Santa fills them with presents."

"Who is Santa?" Bulla asked.

Bulma smiled and plopped down next to her. "Santa is a magical being who travels to the homes of good children on Christmas to give them toys, and if you behave he'll come to see you, too."

She blinked. "What?"

"That's absurd," Vegeta agreed.

Bulma punched him in the side, which he of course didn't notice. "It's true, Vegeta. We'll discuss it later."

"Then where has he been?" Bulla snorted. "I'm five, and I've never met him."

"Maybe that's because you're a little shit," Trunks muttered.

"You don't meet him, Dear. He comes in the middle of the night while we're sleeping."

Bulla and Vegeta both stared at her.

"We need better security," Bulla said

"Bullshit!" Vegeta snapped. "I would have heard him."

"Has he been in our house, Mom? Why didn't he leave presents before?"

Bulma sighed, rubbing her eyes. "Um… Santa is only allowed to come in homes that leave him milk and cookies the day before Christmas. So that's why he hasn't come to see us."

"This Santa breaks in during the night?" Vegeta asked, drumming his fingers on his knee and smirking. "He must have some balls."

"You'll fight him off, right Daddy?"

"Easily."

"I... _ no _ ," Bulma insisted. "He's not an intruder. He's a good guy, Bulla. You want him to come. Just trust me, okay?"

"What about snow?" Trunks asked suddenly. They paused and looked up at him. "All these books have kids playing in the snow."

"Well, we can't make it snow. It doesn't get that cold here," Bulma said.

Bulla took the book from Trunks and examined it. "Hmm...all these pictures have snow in them though. I think we need snow for Christmas."

"I'm sorry, Bulla, it never snows here."

She sighed nodding sadly. Bulma saw an annoyed look pass over Vegeta's face and knew he'd speak to her about it later. She rolled her eyes. This little girl had her father so wrapped around her finger that he wanted to control the  _ weather _ for her.

"What are these people doing?" Bulla asked, pointing to another picture.

"They're caroling," Trunks answered.

"Who's Carol?" Vegeta asked. "Another intruder?"

Bulma closed the book before he could see what it was and quickly wrote it on the board. "You'll find out. We're going to need some stuff from the store to make all of this happen."

Vegeta nodded. "How soon can you pick it all up?"

Bulma snorted. " _ I'm _ not picking up anything. You know how busy I get this time of year. If you want to be Father Christmas this year, you're doing the legwork."

Vegeta scowled. "I have no idea what is required."

"Call Henny and get her to go to the store with you. She does Christmas for seven kids, she can help. We'll cover some of her expenses this year in exchange for her help."

He groaned.

"You  _ like _ Henny."

"She's tolerable, but she'll bring at least four of her goblins with her."

"I'll help, Daddy," Bulla assured him. "It'll be fun!"

Bulma smirked, not even bothering to convince him further. If Bulla was on board, he'd do it.

\---------------

 

Trunks was laying in bed just after eleven when he heard his window sliding open. The window was over his bed, and the intruder wasted no time hopping into the room and landing on top of him.

Trunks smiled, holding a finger to his lips and looking toward his door. "Be quiet. I think Mom and Dad are still awake."

Goten smirked, whispering back. "I like not having to fly all the way to your dorm. Feels weird to do this in your old room, though."

"Do what?" Trunks asked with mock innocence.

Goten kissed him hard, running a hand down his stomach. Trunks moaned softly, but caught his hand. "We have to wait until my parents fall asleep. You're too noisy."

Goten grumbled. "What's the worst that could happen? If they hear us they'll just know not to come in, we're adults."

Trunks shifted uncomfortably.

"You… you did tell them about us tonight, right?"

"We uh… we got distracted."

" _ Distracted _ ? By what?"

"Christmas."

"I thought your family didn't do Christmas?"

"Bulla wants to try it. I had to help make plans. It never came up organically."

"You honestly expect me to believe your mom didn't ask if you were dating anyone within the first hour you were home?"

Trunks shrugged. "We missed it this time. Let's just tell them on Spring Break."

Goten scoffed. " _ We _ didn't miss anything."

"You… you did it?"

"Yeah. I said I would.  _ We _ said we would. Gohan and Videl were over for dinner, it was perfect. I just said, hey guys, wanted to let you know I'm dating Trunks. I had some surprised looks, and Dad asked how two boys made babies, but other than that it was fine."

Trunks took a deep breath. "You're insane."

"I'm not waiting for Spring Break, Trunks," Goten warned him. "I'm tired of sneaking around. Besides, now that my parents know they're bound to mention it to yours."

"Okay, okay," Trunks gave in. "I'll get it over with. Just… let me ease into it?"

"You really think your dad's going to be pissed your dating a man?"

"I think he's going to be pissed I'm dating a Son."

Goten rolled his eyes.

"I mean it. He still occasionally calls you Kakarot's Lesser Spawn."

Goten smiled, leaning down and kissing across his collarbone. "I'll convince you to tell them about me. Maybe I'll leave hickeys all over your neck."

"Don't," he insisted, pushing him back. "We're not at my dorm anymore. I can't just wear that popped collar all week until they fade. We're going to get caught."

"Trunks, we're  _ grownups _ . I mean, barely, but I'm eighteen now. You can have hickeys from whoever you want. Now take your pants off."

Trunks chuckled. "Fine, but you can't sleep here. Dad wants to go shopping in the morning."

"Whatever," Goten muttered, tossing his shoes and shirt to the floor.

\------------------

 

Vegeta looked at his wife skeptically as she slid into bed, arms automatically reaching out to pull her to his chest. "So, he's not real?"

"Right."

"And you're certain?"

"Yes."

"Then why lie? Seems like an odd joke."

"It's a game. You tell little kids that Santa Claus is going to leave them presents if they're good, then the two of us buy a bunch of gifts and sneak them under the tree while Bulla is sleeping."

"Oh. So it's bribery to make her behave."

"I mean… a little bit? But it's fun, and it makes the holiday more magical."

"Bulla believing a strange man is going to break into her home does not sound 'magical'."

She sighed. "Wait until I start explaining his sleigh and the chimney thing. I love my daughter, but there's no way she's just going to let that go. But if she wants an authentic kid's Christmas, that's part of it."

He cleared his throat. "Speaking of authenticity--"

"Vegeta _ , it doesn't snow here _ . There's nothing we can do."

"Obviously," he snorted. "So where does it snow?"

"Around here? I don't know… up in the mountains maybe? Why, you want to take the kids up there to see it?"

"All of the books showed snow all of the houses. It seems essential for a legitimate experience."

She blinked. "You want to  _ stay _ in the mountains for the holiday?"

"I don't want to. But I see no reason to halfass this attempt."

Bulma chuckled.

"What, Woman?"

"Who cares about that blasted woman and her child?" She mocked the words he'd once used in a gravelly voice.

"Shut up!"

"Man, I thought Trunks took away your edge but Bulla has straight up turned you into Mr.Dad."

"Don't be absurd! This is a lesson on defending her pride, nothing more."

"All I hear is 'Daddy's girl wants a Christmas and dammit she's going to get one'."

"Go to sleep, Woman."

 


	3. Chapter 3

The first thing Trunks noticed when he was jarred awake the next morning was the pounding thud of his father knocking on his door. The next thing he noticed was the warm, heavy body of his boyfriend draped across his chest like an anchor.

His eyes went wide.

"Let's go, Boy!" Vegeta called. "I want to get home in time for lunch.

Trunks struggled out of Goten's arms and tried to shake him awake, knowing it would be in vain. It took a lot to wake a sleeping Son before they were ready to be up.

"Uh, I'm not feeling well?" He tried, calling at his father.

He could practically feel the confusion through the door. Trunks knew damn well that 'not feeling well' had never excused him from his father's plans for the day. Unless he had a fever and couldn't stand, he got up when Dad woke him up, period.

Vegeta knocked harder. Trunks pulled his pajama pants on and kicked Goten's clothes out if view, afraid if he kept him waiting he might just break down the door. He opened the door just a crack and poked his head out.

"Uh… my allergies are acting up."

"You don't have allergies."

"I developed some. Went to the doctor a few weeks ago and got a prescription for some pills, but they're bad in the morning this time of year because of the.... leaf...level." He was fairly sure that wasn't a thing, but he knew enough about his father to know he wouldn't know either. He sniffled once for believability.

"If you're trying to get out of this mission--"

"No! Hey, we have to buy food, right? Why don't you and Bulla go get the other stuff, and I'll buy the food."

"Food? For what?"

"Christmas dinner? Like we usually have? That part doesn't change, but we get sweets like pie and pudding."

His eyes widened. "Oh. You should have put that on the list."

Trunks shrugged. "I thought it was obvious."

Vegeta grumbled in agreement. "Fine. We'll meet here later."

Trunks let out an invisible sigh of relief and agreed, shutting the door as soon as believably possible.

He shook Goten, trying to wake him up to no avail. He rolled his eyes and leaned down to whisper in his ear.

"Goten, breakfast."

The young man snorted awake and yawned. "Breakfast? Where?"

"At  _ your _ house, Dork. I told you not to sleep here, we almost got caught."

Goten shrugged and smirked. "Oh noooo, then they'd know about uuuuuuuuuss. That'd be awwwwwwfuuul."

"I'll  _ tell _ them," he swore. "Just give me some time. You should wait a few minutes before you get out of here so you don't pass Dad and Bulla on the way out."

"Is your Mom home?"

"No."

"So… you're home alone for the next few hours?"

He blinked. "Oh. Yes."

"And you bothered putting on pants because…?" He paused, looking around the room in the morning light. "Hey, why are there unicorn stickers all over your room?"

\----------------

 

Vegeta had seen many battles, most of them deadly and all of them bloody. He'd fought humans in the past, though not many, but he'd come to the conclusion they simply weren't a warrior race. The battlefield of a human conflict could never compare to that of a Saiyan's, he thought. He had been wrong. He'd just been looking at the wrong battlefields.

He held Bulla up over his head as a thick crowd of running, aggressive humans elbowed their way around him. "What the hell? They're like stampeding animals!"

Henny snorted. "It's two weeks before Christmas, and school got out yesterday. Welcome to Hell."

"I've been to to Hell, it wasn't this crowded."

"You can put me down, Daddy."

He grimaced but relented. "If someone steps on you, destroy them."

"I will."

"Maybe you should get a baby carrier like this one," Henny suggested, pointing the the five year old strapped to her front.

"Aren't we all little old for that? Seems insulting." Bulla said.

Henny shrugged. "You do what works. Marco in the front, Jardis on my back, and I don't have to worry about chasing them."

"Jardis got down about five minutes ago," she said pointing at the toy aisle.

Henny sighed. "I  _ thought _ my back was hurting less than usual."

"Can we get on with this?" Vegeta snapped, pushing the cart along the narrow aisle. "The Woman's list just said decorations. What does that mean?"

Henny hummed. "Well, at my house we usually just get away with some lights and tree ornaments, and each of the kids has a stocking. You guys have a lot more disposable income, so you could go all out with lawn statues and wreaths and--"

"That won't be necessary," Vegeta said immediately. "Bulla, grab those fluorescent light bulbs and we'll chop down that oak tree in the backyard. Christmas achieved."

"Daddy look," she smiled, holding up a long string of multicolored Christmas lights. "Can we get these? They're rainbow colored."

"Very well. We'll put them in your room."

"They're supposed to go on the tree," Henny said, pointing to the front of the package.

Vegeta frowned. "Why put lights on firewood?"

She blinked. "What?"

"I assumed the tree is chopped up to provide firewood so that the family does not freeze to death. I imagined that would be depressing on a holiday."

"You put a pine tree in your house and decorate it."

" _ Why _ ?"

"Can we have an inside tree?" Bulla asked excitedly.

He sighed. "If it is required."

"I bet you get the biggest pine tree in the forest, Bulla," Henny smiled.

Bulla frowned. "Wouldn't that cause issues with the forest around it? What if there are things living in it? Do we have to re-home the squirrels? I've heard they have rabies."

"What's rabies?" Vegeta asked.

"Some disease where animals get stupid and aggressive and bite people and are afraid to take baths."

"Oh," he smirked. "That must be what happened to Kakarot as a child."

The woman sighed. "I bet you get a _ very nice tree,  _ Bulla."

"Oh. Thank you. Oh! Daddy, look at that strange fat white guy!"

Vegeta looked around the crowd while Henny laughed. "That's an inflatable snowman."

Bulla ran to the snowman; it stood several feet taller than her. She poked his middle. "He looks like Majin Buu."

"A bit."

"Can we take Snow-Buu home? He'll get sick if we leave him here."

"Why would he get sick?"

She pointed to the inflatable next to it. "That tiny moose has a glowing red nose. Clearly something is going around."

Vegeta shifted uncomfortably. "I suppose. But to be clear, Princess, we are not buying everything in this store. We are buying what we need to win Christmas, nothing more."

"Okay, Daddy," Bulla smiled taking his hand.

\-------------

 

At her lunch break, Bulma had a voicemail. It was Henny's number, but the background noise made it almost impossible to hear that was being said. She heard something about  _ 'mess' _ ,  _ 'sorry' _ , and then a jumbled realization that one of her twins were missing again and she'd have to go. She was busy, so she forgot about it.

Bulma ended up working late that night. She was fitting more into a day than she had to, really. She figured if they were going away for the holidays she needed to wrap things up as much as possible.

The first thing she heard when she walked in the backdoor was her kids arguing, and it made her smile. Trunks was good for his sister; without him she'd reign supreme in the house, uncontested. He was cooking dinner at the stove, it smelled like spaghetti tonight, and Bulla was looking up at him with her arms crossed. One would have thought she was a giant facing a human rather than a two foot tall girl facing a Super Saiyan.

"You're  _ wrong _ . My teacher read about them. We need them for Christmas."

"Kid, I'm telling you, there is  _ no such thing _ as Jing Tinglers."

She huffed. "Yes, there is. Flu Floopers too. But we couldn't find them anywhere."

"They're made up toys in a book for babies."

"You're a dirty liar, Trunks! You're just trying to trick me like that time you said if I flushed my stickers they'd come out of the shower drain twice as big."

"That was hilarious, but had nothing to do with this."

"My teacher read about them in a  _ book _ Trunks. They can't just lie in books."

"I'm sorry, do you actually think the Grinch is real? Do we have to get you tested for paranoid delusions?"

"Daddy's kind of the Grinch."

"Don't believe everything you read, Kid."

"Why not?"

He threw an oven mitt off and grabbed a marker from a drawer. He took her hand and wrote  _ 'Bulla looks like an ogre' _ in it. "There. It's written down. Does that make it true?"

She grimaced, clearly losing the argument. She closed her hand and smirked. "I'm gonna go show Daddy what you wrote on my hand, Butthead."

He tried to grab her as she ran past him, but she was fast. She yelled a quick "Hi, Mommy!" over her shoulder skipping off to find Vegeta.

Trunks turned to face his mother and pointed after her. "You're gonna back me up on that, right?"

She snorted, ignoring his question. "Why are you cooking? I left instructions for Vegeta."

Trunks rolled his eyes, pointing at the living room with a wicked grin. "Dad's busy. He may not even snap at me for messing with Bulla."

"Busy doing what?"

"Questioning his life choices."

Bulma raised an eyebrow and walked past him down the hall to the living room, unsure what she would find but speculating already. Had Vegeta been in a fight?  _ Lost _ a fight maybe? She was close.

She dropped her purse, mouth falling open at the state of the room. Shopping bags from several stores lay everywhere, stacked so high and sporadically that although she could hear Bulla moving around among them, she couldn't see her. It looked like an entire Christmas store had been haphazardly tipped into the room in a freak forklift accident.

Amidst all the carnage sat Vegeta on the floor, looking mostly confused as he pulled items from the bags one at a time to examine them.

"Vegeta, what  _ happened _ here?" Bulma asked incredulously.

"I don't…" he struggled, "I am not sure. I didn't know we bought so much. Everything in here seemed so  _ essential _ when she explained why she wanted them…"

"Bulla?" Bulma called sternly.

Her head popped up from a pile of bags and the smiled, apparently having abandoned her quest to get Trunks in trouble when she found a stash of candy canes. She popped the sweet out of her mouth. "Yes, Mommy?"

"What did you do to Daddy?"

She shrugged. "I just asked for some Christmas stuff."

Bulma rubbed the bridge of her nose, immediately regretting her decision to send Vegeta alone with his daughter. The Saiyan still looked confused. He held up a cherubic angel tree topper for his wife's inspection.

"What even is this? A child? Why does it have a halo? Is it dead? Is this an effigy to a  _ dead child _ ? Why did I pay for it?"

"Remember Daddy? That's for the top of the tree. I named her Dead Lily."

"Right, right," he mumbled, moving on to another bag.

"Okay, new rule!" Bulma announced. "Mommy has final say on  _ all _ future Christmas buys."

Vegeta nodded distractedly, looking at a large box. "What? How did we end up with the tiny moose with the head cold?"

Bulla shrugged. "Snow Buu was lonely."

"Go help Trunks set the table for dinner, Bulla," Bulma said pointing.

The girl nodded and trotted away while Bulma moved carefully through the mess to her husband. She plopped down next to him. "Are you okay?"

"There was a time that the name Prince Vegeta would terrify  _ billions _ ."

"I know, Dear."

"Today I spent two hours threatening shopkeepers to show me their hidden stock of Jing Tinglers, which I'm  _ starting _ to suspect don't actually exist."

She laughed, leaning back on the pile of stockings behind her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey all!
> 
> I'm on Twitter at @EBKFICS!

"Daddy, where does he live?"

Vegeta glanced up from where he was sharpening his weapons. Blades had never really been his preferred choice in battle, but a lot of disposable income and a close proximity to several malls soon had him growing a collection. He refused to hang any of them; he insisted the point of a weapon was to be ready for battle.

"Who?"

"Santa Claus," she said. "Mommy said I have to write him a letter."

"Oh. Write the letter and your mother will put the proper postage on."

"Right, I just thought I should put something like 'how's the weather?' I don't know where he lives, though. If he's magic he might live at the bottom of the ocean. Then I'd feel silly."

"I don't believe he's aquatic," he said, returning to the whetstone. "Just say something vague and it should work fine.

She nodded, tapping her pencil against the paper. "Should I threaten him?"

He looked back up, smirking slightly. "Why would you do that?"

"Mommy said he gets toys for all good children, but he hasn't been coming here because we haven't left him cookies and milk. Isn't that extortion? Doesn't he owe me five years of presents?"

"And what do you plan to do about it?" He asked, amused.

She thought a moment. "Direct threats of violence would probably place me in the 'naughty' column. Maybe I can just imply that if I'm not paid back we have lawyers."

"Perhaps the milk and cookies are his form of currency."

Her eyes widened. "Oh. So it's a  _ service _ ," she sighed. "Then I suppose he doesn't necessarily  _ owe _ me. Maybe I'll just mention it's my first proper Christmas and that if he wants to catch up he's welcome to."

"What are you requesting from him?"

"I don't know," she said thoughtfully. "You and Mommy buy me a lot. I can't think of anything."

"Well, put whatever you like. The worst he can do is say no."

Trunks stretched as he walking into the living room, cracking his neck. He grabbed his jacket off a chair as his father grimaced at him.

"About damn time, Boy. It's nine in the morning."

"I was up late."

"You were not. You were in bed by ten."

Trunks snapped his jaw closed. "Oh. Right. I just meant I was awake in bed… reading."

"Reading?" Vegeta asked flatly.

"Yes?"

"What are you doing?"

Trunks paled. "I'm not doing anything! What are you talking about?"

He raised an eyebrow and pointed to the young man's jacket.

"Oh. I'm gonna go to the mall and do a little Christmas shopping with… Goten." He admitted guilty.  _ There's nothing suspicious about that _ , he tried to remind himself.  _ I used to hang out with him as 'just a friend' all the time _ .

"Be back by six," Vegeta said, returning to his work. "Your mother has a Christmas activity planned."

"What activity?"

"Something about that Carol woman."

"We're going… caroling?"

"Yes, that's what she called it."

"Oh. You might want to get some liquor."

Vegeta narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

"No reason," Trunks chuckled, messing up Bulla's hair as he passed by her.

\----------------

 

Goten laughed loudly, dumping more ketchup onto his plate. They'd finished up some shopping and decided to eat at the food court. The ever growing pile of empty food containers kept stacking around them as they tried to get full. "Holy shit, he's going to  _ hate _ it."

"I know," Trunks snorted. "Can you imagine Dad doing all this mushy stuff when I was Bulla's age?"

"No way. Even my family doesn't get this into the holiday. We usually have a tree and open a few presents. Dad loves it, for some reason, even though he usually doesn't get anything."

Trunks winced. "My dad likes Christmas Day because he and Mom do something kinky that night. I figured it out when I was like sixteen. That was a bad day."

Goten's face morphed from surprised to horrified. "Of gods! You don't think--"

"It's possible, Man. Does Goku try to rush off to bed early Christmas night?"

Goten thought a moment, then shivered. "Well, holiday ruined. Christmas is canceled. Let's plan our first Valentine's Day instead." He smiled wickedly.

Trunks laughed. "We should be able to do something fun. My parents should know by then."

Goten frowned. "They'll know before that."

"Yeah, probably," he nodded.

The other man stared at him. "More than probably, Trunks. They're gonna have to know before Christmas."

Trunks grimaced. "Are you giving me a time limit?"

Goten looked confused. "Do you not know about…? Oh. Well I'm not going to tell you."

"Tell me what?" Trunks asked suspiciously.

Goten pretended to pull a zipper across his lips. "I'm not spoiling it. She's going to have to tell you soon anyway."

"I bet I could get it out of you," Trunks smirked.

Goten nodded. "Hell yeah, you could. Just not in public. I'll just have to avoid your room until the secret's out and I should be fine."

"Wanna come caroling with us?"

Goten bit his lip. "Do I want to see Vegeta trying to sing? Yes. But I assume drinking will be involved and you know how grabby I get when I'm drunk. I'd out us halfway through Jingle Bells."

Trunks gasped in mock surprise. "Goten! You're underage!"

"Didn't stop you from getting smashed at your orientation."

Trunks chuckled. "After our family Christmas the two of us will have a little Christmas together, I promise. Maybe we'll get a little hotel room before New Year's. My little bed just isn't big enough for us."

Goten said nothing. He just smiled conspiratorially and munched on a french fry.

\-----------------------

 

It was about six when they all gathered in the living room. Bulma had brought a big box of caroling 'supplies' home with her, but she hadn't let anyone look inside of it. Trunks knew damn well there was no way the rest of the family knew what lay ahead of them for the evening, or his father wouldn't have looked so nonchalant.

Bulma clapped, calling them all to attention. "Alright! Before we go caroling, Dad and I have some news."

Trunks narrowed his eyes. "Oh gods, you're not pregnant again are you?"

Bulma snorted. " _ Hell _ no. Why would you even ask?" She held a hand over her middle. "What are you implying?"

"Nothing!" He said quickly. "It's just the last time you said that you and Dad had news we ended up with this monster," he said, pointing at Bulla.

Bulla's eyes went wide. "Oh! Can I ask for a sister for Christmas?"

"Absolutely not," Vegeta said quickly. "She is  _ not _ pregnant." He paused. "Right, Woman?"

Bulma crossed her arms angrily. "Excuse me?"

"This is about Christmas," he said, quickly changing the subject. "You may notice we've not bothered to get a tree or hang any decorations yet. That's because we won't be here. On December 20th, the four of us will be heading up into the mountains to stay at a private lodge. We will set up the tree, decorate, and spend the rest of the week there. We will return on December 27th. Any questions?"

Bulla raised her hand, looking a little disappointed. "Why can't we have Christmas here?"

Vegeta cleared his throat. "The, uh, mountain has a fair amount of… snow."

Her face lit up and she jumped up. "Snow? We're having snow at Christmas!"

He nodded tersely and she jumped up at him. He caught her with one hand and pretended to be uninterested while she kissed his cheek.

"Dad's mostly right," Bulma said with a tight smile. "It'll just be a  _ little _ more than four of us."

Vegeta's mild smile disappeared. "What?"

"Christmas is about family."

"Your parents are coming?"

"Yes… and also Goku, Chichi, their boys, Videl, her father, and Buu."

His mouth fell open. "What?"

"They  _ deserve _ to have an expensive Christmas. We're not the only ones affected by our ignoring the holiday. If I had been on top of it all these years I would have been buying them all gifts, we owe them a family holiday. I'd have invited 18, Krillin, and Roshi too if they weren't out of the country for the holidays."

"We are not related to them!" Vegeta spat.

"Oh, the hell we're not. Goku's like my little brother, and Goten was here more than he was at his own house growing up.

Trunks was trying to hide the smile threatening to break across his face. Goten was going to be with him for Christmas. His happiness faded quickly. Shit. Goten was going to be with him for Christmas. In one lodge. With  _ all _ of their parents and siblings. He shivered, wondering how the hell they were going to pull that off.

Vegeta continued to grumble while Bulma started to get her caroling supplies ready. Trunks handed his father a bottle of eggnog he'd mixed earlier for him.

"What is this for?" Vegeta asked suspiciously, sniffing it.

Trunks smirked. "For when you figure out what we're actually doing tonight."

\-----------------------

 

Bill and Marienne Gustafson were a polite, well off couple. They were longtime residents of East City, and Christmas was very important to them. They lived not too far away from the Capsule Corp compound, close enough to know their famous neighbors were very private people who normally did not celebrate holidays.

They were very surprised to open their door to find the family of four standing in the chilly air in very bright Christmas sweaters. Bulma Briefs herself wished them a merry Christmas and gave them each a cookie from a plate she was holding. Her tall son stood next to her in a snowflake sweater that was a bit too short for him, smiling amusedly.

A smiling little girl with blue hair held a sheet of rehearsed music in front of her, practically hopping in place from excitement. She was in a little blue sweater covered in snowmen, and had a headband with antlers coming out of the top. "Hi, I'm Bulla!" She said happily. "Can we sing here?"

Marienne smiled. "Sure, Dear, we'd love to hear a Christmas song."

The little girl tugged on the large hand of the man walking with her. "Daddy we get to sing again!"

The man stood stoically next to her, unmoving as she tugged on him. Dull anger simmered on his face, his mouth permanently downturned in an aggravated scowl. He wore a bright orange Christmas sweater he kept tugging at in disgust, and he carried a very large bottle, already halfway empty. He took a deep swig of it, sighing heavily, and closing his eyes. "Fan-fucking-tastic, Princess."

"Daddy your hat fell off again," she said, pulling the hastily hidden hat from his pocket. "Here, bend down and I'll help you."

"That is not necessary."

"Come  _ on _ , Daddy, you have to match my antlers."

The man grumbled but took a knee and allowed the girls to wrangle all of his hair into a large Santa Claus hat.

Bulma snorted. "How about next year we just put a star on top of your head and pretend you styled it to look like a pine tree?"

"Woman, if you think I will ever allow this to happen again, you are insane. If you had  _ told _ me what this activity was I never would have agreed to it."

"Which is why I didn't," Bulma smirked. "Just drink your eggnog."

"It's stronger than I expected."

Trunks glanced guilty at the couple watching them. "Well yeah, most people don't pour three bottles of rum into the mixture.

Bulma ignored them. "Okay, let's sing  _ Frosty the Snowman _ ."

"Snow  _ Buu _ ," Bulla insisted.

"Okay, what the hell, let's sing  _ Frosty the Snow Buu _ ."

Bulma, Trunks and Bulla started the song, but after a verse Bulla held her hands up to stop them. "Daddy, you forgot to sing again."

Vegeta winced. "I lost my lyrics."

"Here, we can share mine!" She said helpfully, raising up her hands. He lifted her regretfully, holding her up to read from the sheet music.

His singing sounded more like grunted arguing, but they made it through the song. The girl jumped down and grabbed her father's hand again, firmly pulling him to the next neighbor's house. They heard the younger man snickering as the family left, and the older one shouting, "Shut your goddamn mouth, Boy!"

  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all,
> 
> The cool art at the beginning of this fic is from JackieMoonshine on Vegebulocracy! She's also on Twitter at @Jackiemoonshin1.
> 
> I'm on Twitter at @EBKFICS.
> 
> Thanks!
> 
> Embarassedbutkinky

 

 

"Where does this one go, Kid?" Trunks asked, carrying another box into the small cabin.

"What's the side of it say?" Bulla asked from where she was hanging up stocking at the mantlepiece.

"Uh,  _ more _ Christmas lights. This is like the fourth box. There's no way we're going to fit them all on the tree Mom and Dad being back with them."

Bulla nodded. "I think we got too many. Could you fly up and hang them on the house?"

"I guess," he shrugged. He had to admit, there was a small thrill he got from decorating for the first time.

"Let's get everything up before Uncle Goku gets here, he'll think they're pretty," she said with a grin.

Trunks nodded, gulping. He'd been specifically ignoring the idea of 'Uncle Goku's arriving with his family. His family that knew he and Goten were a couple, and intended to share a lodge with his family who did  _ not _ . He just silently hoped that the Sons arrived before his parents got back from tree shopping.

He got his wish. It was only three in the afternoon when he felt Goten's presence fast approaching. His boyfriend burst into the lounge where he and Bulla sat stringing popcorn into a fishing line and smiled at him, heading straight in for a kiss because they hadn't seen each other in a few days.

Trunks casually ducked the gesture, patting the other man in the shoulder. "Hey BUDDY. Been a while."

Goten looked confused at first, then a little hurt. His eyes darted over to Bulla, and managed to swing all the way around to pissed. He glowered at Trunks, setting his jaw.

"Hey, Goten!" Bulla smiled, waving a string at him. "Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas, Squirt," Goten said emotionlessly. "I need to talk to Trunks alone."

She blinked. "Uh, is Trunks in trouble?"

"No, Bulla," Trunks assured her. "We just need to--"

"Yes, Trunks is in trouble. Scoot, Squirt."

She nodded, tossing her popcorn aside. "I'm gonna go finish my letter to Santa."

She got out quickly, and Trunks smiled guiltily. He went in to peck Goten on the lips but the younger man stopped him.

"Do you mean to tell me, even knowing that we're all going to live together for a  _ week,  _ you still didn't tell them?"

Trunks huffed, rubbing the back of his head. "It just didn't come up."

"Maybe we should forget the whole thing."

"Yeah, let's just tell them after New Year's."

Goten sighed. "No, I mean… Let's just call everything off."

Trunks frowned, slow realization drawing over him. "Ten, are you… are you breaking up with me?"

Goten shrugged. "If you're  _ that _ embarrassed to tell your family about me, then--"

"Goten, no!" He said quickly, pulling him into a rough kiss. Goten allowed it, begrudgingly, and Trunks leaned his forehead against his. "I'm sorry, Ten, really. I'm not ashamed of you. I just let this build up too much and scared myself… I'm an idiot, okay? I will tell them  _ tonight _ . At dinner. With you and everyone else there. I  _ swear _ ."

"Yeah, sure," Goten grumbled.

"Please, Ten? Nothing they could say or do would be as bad as losing you."

Goten sighed, finally sliding a hand around his waist. "Fine. But do it before dessert, you know I get distracted when there's sugar around. Besides, I want to sleep next to you tonight."

"Anything, Ten," he promised quietly, setting his lips against his cheek.

He still had his arms wrapped around him when the door swung open and Goku walked in. Trunks flinched almost guiltily but didn't pull away.

Goku didn't waver, and barely paused his step. "Hey Trunks, where should I put Chichi's bags?"

Trunks gulped and pointed down the hallway. "I think Mom said your bedroom was third door on the left."

"Cool. Merry Christmas!" He said, brushing past them to drop off the bags.

Trunks watched after him and Goten smirked. "Kinda nice not having to worry about being caught, right?"

"He didn't even seemed like he noticed? Like I definitely don't want our parents to freak out, but wouldn't it be weird to see us together for the first time after knowing?"

"Dad adjusts to things really fast. He didn't even know he and Mom were engaged until the Martial Arts Tournament, and they got married like a few days later. We're old news to him." He took a step back. "Mom on the other hand… she's fine with us, but let's let her get used to us. "

Trunks laughed, nodding. "Same for my Dad. I'm not saying we can't hang out all week, just…"

"We'll be discreet," Goten promised. "But don't forget Trunks. Dessert."

\-----------------

  


Bulma and Vegeta did not return until later than expected. By the time they arrived with the tree Bulma's parents, Gohan, Pan, Videl, and her father had all arrived with Buu in tow. Panchy had a lovely dinner set out for them and had valiantly warded off Goku, Buu, and the four half Saiyans from eating it early.

Vegeta looked to be in a worse mood than usual, which was bad news for Trunks. He'd been hoping to spit out the news immediately after they all sat down, but with his father glowering like that, this was not the time. As they happily crowded around the table Goten sat next to him, surreptitiously running a hand across his knee in a silent reminder of his promise. Trunks shot him a reassuring smile he did not feel.

Bulma sat at the head of the table as usual with Vegeta at her side. She'd long convinced him the host had to give a speech, and he had no interest in that. She stood and raised her glass up, and most everyone followed. Chichi slapped Goku's hand away from the roast and pointed at his glass and he followed suit.

"Thank you everyone for coming up here to spend the holiday with us. Sorry we were so late,  _ someone _ got into an argument at the tree lot."

"Scam artist," Vegeta grumbled. "Trees do not have 'personalities'."

"Unfortunately, we're the only ones that could make it on short notice. Krillin and 18 took Maron to a  _ warmer _ climate and Roshi is with them. Oolong's got the run of Kame house, so he's not giving that up. I invited Tien and Chiaotzu, but they don't celebrate. Piccolo never answered, so I kind of expect to see him skulking around, maybe?"

"Uncle Piccolo will come see me for Christmas," Pan said confidently. "I'll save him some chocolate. He secretly likes it."

"What about Yamcha and Pu'ar?" Goku asked from around the mouthful of food he'd snuck.

Vegeta scoffed and started to speak, but Bulma cut him off.

"They're running late. They'll be here tomorrow," she said sweetly.

" _ What _ ?" Vegeta balked.

"Get over it, they're our friends," she said with a dangerous clenched-teeth smile. "I've got all sorts of activities planned, plus lots of time for rest and enough to food to feed… well, I can't think of a group that would eat more than this. There's a lot, is my point. Please consider this week as a gift to make up for the years I let fall through the cracks. You're all family, and we wanted to celebrate the right way this year."

"Plus there's snow!" Bulla said excitedly.

Bulma raised the glass. "Okay. Speech over. Merry Christmas. Thanks for cooking, Mom! Everybody dig in before Goku eats it all."

Trunks took a deep breath, weighing his options. He had to spit it out. Vegeta was the big obstacle, and he was even grumpier now that he knew Yamcha was coming. This wasn't up for debate, Goten had made that clear, and Trunks couldn't blame him. The alternative was losing Goten, and that wasn't something he was willing to do. He glanced up, deciding to give himself five minutes to calm his nerves and let Vegeta eat. Maybe he'd be happier with some food in his belly.

The group chatted about the holiday, but Trunks was too afraid to enjoy it. They discussed Gohan's first Christmas, and the trouble that resulted from Chichi telling Goku to go 'get a tree and bring it inside' that year. Apparently he'd decided to grab the biggest one he could find to impress her, and they had to celebrate outside because it was much taller than their modest house.

When Trunks finally glanced up, Goku was smiling at him. No, he was smiling at  _ both _ of them.  _ Oh no. _

"Bet it's nice to be back home, Trunks," Goku said innocently. "Goten says it's a long flight to your school."

Trunks coughed into his napkin, thinking about how many times Goten had flown up to see him, but Bulma answered. "It is. Goten helped him move into his dorm because we didn't want to drive that far. I went for visit day, though."

"Well, I'm glad you're going to school, Trunks," Chichi said. "One of you should have a formal education, and I can't convince Goten to apply. Though I suppose money isn't really something you'll have to worry about in the future."

Trunks squirmed. This was not how he imagined his first 'official meeting' with his boyfriend's parents to happen.

"Tuition is not a problem," Bulma assured her, not realizing they were talking about further in the future than that. "If Goten did want to go to school we'd be happy to help."

"Oh," Gohan smiled, as if he suddenly remembered the couple. "I hadn't seen you both together since Goten told us--"

"Hey, Gohan, pass the potatoes?" Goten asked, cutting him off. He tightened a hand on Trunks leg in warning.  _ Do it now or they'll blurt it out _ .

Trunks took a deep breath.

"Hey Vegeta?" Goku asked, suddenly. "If Goten marries Trunks, does that make Goten a Saiyan Prince?"

Vegeta scoffed, not even looking away from his meat. "Of course not. He's not of royal blood. It's the same reason Bulma is not considered a Princess."

Bulma laughed. "You don't need to be a princess when you're a queen."

"But I'm a princess, right Daddy?" Bulla called.

"Yes, Bulla," he assured her. "And Trunks is technically a prince, despite being born a bastard." Bulma threw a roll at his head, but he dodged it easily. "What? We married."

Trunks was staring at them. Why was the table discussing him  _ marrying _ Goten?

"You know, technically Gohan and Goten  _ both _ have royal blood," Chichi said. "Daddy was a king, so I am a princess, which makes them both royalty too."

"You didn't tell me that," Videl admonished Gohan gently and he shrugged.

"That makes me a princess too!" Pan said exactly.

Bulla clapped. "That's cool, Pan! Princess Christmas!"

"I hadn't considered that," Vegeta grumbled. "Shit. That would technically make it a royal wedding. There would be some traditions we'd have to follow. I expect plenty of notice, Boy, it's a lot to plan. Assuming you  _ have _ to marry the small Kakarot."

Trunks and Goten stared at him for a long moment. Vegeta finally frowned. "What? I think that's a perfectly reasonable request considering we'd be paying for the damn thing."

"You  _ knew _ ?" Trunks gawked at him. The table went silent and looked at him. "You  _ knew _ I was dating Goten?"

Vegeta stared at him. "Is that a joke? You've not exactly been subtle."

Trunks just gaped at him.

"Boy, you  _ stink _ of him. Your scents are so mixed it's hard to tell you apart. Besides, he's been in your room every night since you came home--"

"How did you--?"

"Did you forget how Ki works? I know the moment anyone with significant energy enters my house."

Bulma was frowning slightly. "Weren't you guys dating before you went off to school? Like before you graduated high school? Didn't we have this conversation?"

"No," Trunks spat emphatically. "We've only been together five months. I think I'd remember telling my family I'm gay. Did you know, Bulla?"

"Yeah, but I don't care," Bulla shrugged. "I like Goten more than you, though. Hey, if you break up can he be my brother instead?"

"Trunks, why did you think I gave you such a big room?" Bulma laughed. "I wondered why I saw you put Goten's stuff in the single room before dinner, that was supposed to be for Piccolo if he shows up."

Goten was grinning. "Cool. Trunks' little bed at your house sucks."

"Get a bigger one," Bulma suggested casually. "That might make home visits easier."

Trunks wasn't so calm. He stood up. "So… everyone knows. Everyone knows I love Goten? This thing that's been making me panic for  _ months _ wasn't even a secret? I've just been terrified for no reason?"

They were all silent a moment. Bulla grinned. "We knew you were dating. We didn't know you looooved him."

Trunks blushed, quickly sitting back down. "Can… can someone pass the butter please?"

There were a few soft laughs and Trunks felt Goten's hand take his, not so secretive this time. He glanced up to see if his father looked annoyed or disappointed, but the Saiyan didn't seem affected at all. Trunks smiled, feeling for the first time they he'd really come home.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be continued soon 👍😁

Goku scratched his head, looking up and down the toy aisle in confusion. "Hey Vegeta, Goten is too old for this kind of stuff, right?"

Vegeta snorted, dropping a large doll into the cart behind him. "Kakarot, the boy is eighteen. I doubt he wants blocks."

Goku sighed. "I'm not very good at this. Chichi told me to get gifts, but what do I buy? What do people like? What do you think Gohan?"

Gohan turned around, his arms so full of toys that he dropped a few at the movement.

"Are those all for Pan?" Goku asked. "That's a lot."

Gohan laughed uncertainly. "I suppose I might be going a little overboard. With my promotion we can afford a pretty good Christmas this year and… I just  _ like _ buying her stuff."

"Children are easy to buy gifts for," Vegeta shrugged. "Bulla likes anything with rainbows."

"Pan's that way with unicorns right now," Gohan smiled.

"Bulla had that phase. Now she mainly uses them to terrorize Trunks."

"We never had this many toys when you were a kid," Goku said, frowning apologetically at Gohan.

"Don't worry, Dad," he assured him, "I always had good Christmases at home. That's why I want Pan's to be special."

"Well, what do you think Goten would like?"

"Never mind Goten and Trunks," Vegeta mumbled. "It's the women we have to worry about. How the hell do you buy something for a woman wealthy enough to afford anything she wants?"

Goku nodded. "I never know what to get Chichi. She likes flowers on her birthday, but I've never gotten Christmas down."

Gohan waved them off. "Videl and I aren't getting anything for each other this year. We agreed we just wanted to spend this week together, and that was special enough."

The two Saiyans looked at him warily, grimacing.

"What?" Gohan asked.

"It's a trap, Boy," Vegeta said grimly.

Gohan laughed."No, you don't understa--"

"Vegeta's right, Son. Chichi said that one year too. I didn't get her anything, and she was  _ really _ mad."

Gohan's smile fell. "But why would Videl say she didn't want something if she really did?"

"I think it's a test," Goku said, nodding firmly.

"You're right, for once," Vegeta nodded. "We haven't been doing Christmas, but once Bulma told me not to get her anything for her birthday. She cut off sex for  _ weeks _ afterwards. It's a trial to see if you really want to buy her things or if you're only buying them because she wants you to."

"What's the difference?"

"How the hell should I know?" Vegeta scoffed. "There's no logic behind it. If you value peace in your home, buy her a gift. A  _ pricey _ gift."

Goku nodded in agreement and Gohan hummed. "I… I have absolutely no idea what she wants."

"Welcome to the club. We're all doomed. Merry Christmas."

\-------------------

 

"Hey Mommy, this package says you shouldn't eat the cookie dough raw because you could get sick."

"Really?" Bulma mumbled around a mouthful of dough. "Wild."

"Bulma," Chichi admonished gently from her mixing bowl. "You're going to eat it all before we even get them in the oven."

"Don't worry, Grandma, there's lots," Pan said, pressing a elf-head shaped cookie cutter down firmly. "Can I use a knife?"

"I'll help you, Pan," Bulma said, pulling a knife from a drawer. "What am I cutting, Honey?"

Pan pointed to the elf's hat and Bulma started slicing it off. Videl walked in with an armful of sacks, dropping them onto an empty spot on the table. "I brought more flour from the pantry, Chichi."

Chichi thanked her and wiped her brow. "Good. That'll come in handy for the next couple dozen."

"Do we really need this many cookies?" Videl asked.

Bulma snorted. "For a house full of Saiyans? Are you kidding?"

"Mommy, look," Pan said holding up the sheet with her hatless elf. "It's Piccolo. We can make it green with frosting."

Videl smiled. "I'm sure he'll like that, Pan! What a nice Christmas present. We'll make sure to save it for him when we go home."

Pan frowned. "He'll be here, Mommy. He won't miss Christmas."

"Oooohhhh," Bulla said, scooping up some frosting to eat. "I thought Daddy was the Grinch, but it's got to be Piccolo. He's even green. That makes you Cindy-Lou Who, Pan."

"Piccolo is not a Grinch " Pan pouted slightly.

"Not anymore," Bulla assured her. "We're living in the happily ever after part of the story."

Chichi snatched the frosting cup from Bulla. "Is anyone but me going to do the actual baking part, or is everyone just here to eat my ingredients?"

"At least we don't mess with the cooked stuff," Bulla said. "Goten stole your first batch about five minutes ago."

"What?" Chichi gasped, turning to look for her freshly frosted cookies. She balled up her fists, stomping straight through the living room past Buu and Mr.Satan playing checkers and making her way directly to Goten's room. She pounded on the door, calling his name.

"Don't come in, Mom!"

"Goten, open this door right now!"

"Mom, go away! Privacy!"

"I know you stole my cookies, I will break this door down!"

"Don't come in, Trunks is naked!"

"Trunks, are you in there?"

There was a pause. "Uh, yes Ma'am."

"Are you naked?"

"No."

"Are you eating my cookies?"

Another pause. Trunks cleared his throat. "I only ate one."

Chichi kicked open the door striding in and ripping the half eaten tray away from Goten who was sitting guiltily at their desk.

" _ Don't _ spoil your appetite," she said pointing a finger at him as she stalked away.

Goten shot an annoyed look to Trunks who was reading on the bed. "Snitch."

"Dude, it has never been more important for your mom to like me, I'm not messing this up now."

\---------------------

 

Bulma hunkered down beneath the hastily constructed snow fort, rubbing her hands to keep them warm and wondering how she had managed to get into this situation. "I should go inside."

"Absolutely not. Failure is not an option. We need all of our warriors."

Bulma gestured to her small arms.

"You have already proven you are adept at making the projectiles."

"Just call them snowballs, Dork," she sighed, rubbing her forehead.

"You will stay down under this barrier and continue to make ammunition. Now focus, we need to form a plan of attack." Vegeta glanced up. "Goten, get lost. You won't get away with any espionage."

"Goten is on our side," Trunks promised, tugging on his glove.

"Why?"

"Teams were uneven," Goten shrugged. "Plus I didn't want to be against Trunks, we'd spend the whole time trying to hit each other and I want to  _ win _ ."

Vegeta nodded. "I accept your unconditional defection to our side. Good work, Trunks."

Trunks grimaced. "Thanks?"

"Alright. Clearly, I am taking point. Our toughest target is Kakarot, followed by Gohan. We can assume they will have the Harpy occupying the same position as Bulma, so--"

"I wouldn't be too sure about that," Goten said, shaking his head. "Mom can get pretty competitive when she actually gets into something like this."

"Hmm. Useful information. Unless it's a bluff."

"Trust him, Daddy," Bulla assured him, practically hopping in place from excitement.

"Very well. That changes things. It means they will have a limited supply of ammunition, so the more 'snowballs' we can get them to throw, the sooner they will be helpless against our assault."

Trunks sighed. "Am I the target?"

"Damn right. Wave your arms, say whatever inflammatory things are necessary. Just draw the fire, and get Videl out while you're at it. All it takes is one solid snowball, as seen by the judges."

Trunks nodded.

"Kakarot is  _ mine _ . Goten, that leaves you with Gohan. Can you hit your brother?"

Goten hefted a snowball in his palm as Bulma continued to crank them out. "We did this once with rocks when I was little. I've gotten stronger, and he's been neglecting his training since he got married. He's toast."

"Princess, you know what that means."

Bulla nodded. "Pan is dead. Well, not dead, because I like her, but hurt. Well, not hurt, but I'm going to hit her with so many snowballs she'll look like Snow Buu."

"Good girl. Remember, all of you, Super Saiyan is strictly forbidden, as is flying and all real fighting. Our main objective is this," he said, holding up a small flag made out of construction paper with a large, ornate B on it. "You stick this flag on top of their fort, and victory is ours."

"What do we get if we win, Daddy?"

"The pride of battle. Also I will buy you many stickers of your choice."

Bulla pumped her fists. "Let's  _ do _ this! We'll destroy Kakarot and his whole family. Except Goten."

"Thanks, Squirt."

Vegeta grinned, standing up to yell across the field. "Are you ready, Kakarot?"

Goku yawned. "Been ready for ages. We just thought we'd give you guys a head start. You want us to spot you a few yards, too?"

Vegeta laughed hollowly. "Big talk from a man who is losing his own offspring to the opposition."

"We figured it was only fair you got Goten. I mean, our family has three Super Saiyans, a ex fighter who can still win in a pinch, a woman the police call for help sometimes, and Pan is pretty strong herself. It's only fair to have  _ some _ mercy."

"If you insist on quantity over quality in every aspect of your life, that's your fault. On the count of five, we begin."

"You guys ready too?" Goku asked, looking at the judges.

Bulma's parents, Mr.Satan, and Yamcha waved warily from the sidelines, happy to stay out of this. Buu just continued eating, not looking up.

Goku and Vegeta started the countdown. Trunks took a deep breath, smiling sadly at his family. "Forgive me for what I'm about to do."

They both cried one at the same time, running out from their respective forts. Before anyone else could get into play, Trunks hopped up and cupped his hands around his mouth.

"Hey Videl! Can you still fit in your Saiyagirl costume since you put on the baby weight?"

There was a silent pause on the battlefield before a barrage of snowballs came barreling toward Trunks. 

  
  
  
  



	7. Chapter 7

Trunks dived away, drawing the fire away from his base.

As predicted, Vegeta and Goku met in the center of the battlefield, firing armfuls of snowballs at each other while struggling to keep their feet on the ground. 

Goten rolled out from behind the fort with as many snowballs as he could carry. He knew Gohan was his main target, but he decided to tag Videl out first. He assumed she should be distracted by Trunks' insult. He searched quickly for the sound of Trunks' yells, but when he found him it wasn't Videl chasing him.

Gohan hadn't gone Super Saiyan, it was against the rules, but he was damn close. He was firing snowballs towards Trunks' retreating form as fast as he could, and if Trunks had been human he would be both out and unconscious by now.

Videl was nowhere near them. She and Pan were descending on Bulla, _fast_.

If Bulla was afraid, she wasn't showing it. She pulled herself up to her full height, holding a snowball in front of her with a solemn scowl and looking ready to dive away.

Goten ran behind them, shooting a snowball towards Videl's back. The woman ducked down just in time, turning to smirk at him. "Can't you wait your turn, Goten?" She called teasingly. "We'll get you out next."

"You really need your _Mommy_ to help you defeat me?" Bulla asked, crossing her arms and grinning at Pan.

Pan balked, waving her mother away. "No way! Go get him Mom, I've got Bulla."

Videl shrugged, chucking a snowball at Goten's head that whizzed past his ear.

"Take it back!" Gohan snarled as he sent snowballs whirling toward Trunks. Trunks ran across the field, dodging, looking more and more nervous as he struggled not to fly away.

"The Great Saiyaman is really lame!" Trunks yelled  honestly.

"Knock it off!" Gohan yelled. "I _know_ you're full of it now! You should keep your annoying opinions to yourself!"

"Maybe you should tell your mom that, too!" Trunks said, wincing as he pushed past a line he knew he couldn't take back. Gohan lifted into the air for a better vantage point, disqualifying himself.

"Oh that is _it_ ," Chichi grumbled, jumping up from behind the barrier. She held a snowball high in her hand and aimed it at the young prince, falling several feet short.

A large snowball pelted the side of Trunks' head, knocking him down and nearly knocking him out. Chichi looked around, trying to figure out who threw it, and smiling when she saw Goku turning back towards his fight with Vegeta. 

"Thanks, Honey!" She called a moment before a snowball hit her arm. She gasped at the attacker, putting her hands on her hips. "Goten! How could you!"

Goten shrugged apologetically as he dodged another assault from Videl. "Sorry, Mom. That's how the game works."

"You're out, Harpy!" Vegeta said. "Get off the field, and take Trunks with you!"

Chichi grumbled, helping a dizzy Trunks to his feet and leading him to the sidelines.

Bulla and Pan were going for quantity over quality, throwing as many snowballs as they could at each other from the stock their mothers had made. Bulla had to jump down as Pan sent a well-thrown snowball inches from her. Pan laughed at the near Miss, going to grab another armful of ammunition. Bulla saw her face drop when she looked behind their barrier.

"What's wrong, Pan?" Bulla teased with a grin. "Did your mom not leave you enough snowballs?"

"Are we out?" Videl called, fighting Goten by the Briefs's fort.

"Yes!" Pan called worriedly.

"Just make more!" Goku called, grabbing handfuls of snow and quickly packing them together as he dodged Vegeta.

Pan gathered a bunch of snow as Bulla descended on her with a wicked grin.

"I'm coming, Pan!" Videl called, taking a step towards her. The snowball exploded against her back and she froze, turning to see Goten grinning. Videl crossed her arms and scowled good naturedly. "Goten, you traitor!"

"Nothing personal, Videl, I just want to win," he grinned. Another snowball hit Goten's arm while he was distracted.

Goku laughed in the distance. "Sorry, Goten, nothing personal, I just want to win!" He echoed back teasingly.

Pan looked over the battlefield and made a split second decision. She picked up the few snowballs she had and ran, jumping up on her grandfather's back and putting his body between her and Bulla.

"You okay, Pan?" Goku asked distractedly, focusing on Vegeta.

"I'm fine, Papa. You're just a shield."

"Coward!" Bulla huffed, trying to get a good angle. "I could just hit Goku and get him out, too!"

"Try it, then! He's really fast!" Pan bragged, tossing one back.

Bulla growled, running to Vegeta. She hopped up on his back and climbed up to his left shoulder helping him throw at the other pair. A long moment stretched with just the four of them firing at each other, grunting with effort as they dodged every projectile.

"This is...more intense than I thought it would be," Mr.Satan mumbled nervously to his daughter on the sidelines.

Videl laughed, leaning back on Gohan's lap. "Looks about normal to me."

"How many fingers am I holding up?" Goten said worriedly, making Trunks sit up straight on the steps leading up to the cabin.

Trunks rubbed his eyes and shook his sore head slowly. "Uh… two, I think. Damn. If you've never been hit in the skull by something your dad threw, I wouldn't recommend it."

"Well, you deserved it," Gohan grumbled.

Videl laughed, kissing Gohan on the cheek. "Come on, Gohan, he was just trying to draw our fire because he knows we're good opponents. He didn't mean it."

"I didn't," Trunks promised, trying to cross his heart but missing by several feet. "You look great, Videl."

Gohan seemed to calm down some, and even laughed. "Oh. I should have figured that out. Of course no one thinks The Great Saiyaman is lame."

"Yeah, that definitely should have given it away," Goten said sarcastically, stifling a laugh as he held a clump of snow up to the bump on Trunks' head.

"Give up, Kakarot!"

"No way!" Goku called back. He fired a snowball towards Vegeta's face.

It was partially Vegeta's fault. He dived away to the right, and the snowball hit a different target. Bulla was thrown backwards off of his shoulder as the Saiyan-thrown missile collided with her. Vegeta spun around immediately, catching her in midair and holding her up for inspection. Goku stopped throwing in an instant, holding up a hand to stop Pan.

"Bulla! Are you injured?" Vegeta asked, looking her over.

The girl was rubbing her arm, eyes a little watery. "My arm hurts," she admitted, "but I'm okay."

Vegeta gently tested her arm to make sure it wasn't broken, then set her down. Chichi waved from the sidelines at her. "Come here, Sweetheart, I'll get you an icepack and some hot cocoa!"

Bulla nodded and wandered over towards the others. "Kick their butts, Daddy!" She requested.

Vegeta turned to look at Goku, fire in his eyes. For once the other Saiyan was blushing, looking genuinely guilty.

"I'm sorry," he said honestly. "I didn't mean to hit Bulla."

Vegeta growled. "Perhaps Pan should not sit on your shoulder?"

Goku nodded, gently setting Pan down on the ground. "Yeah, it was a bad idea."

Pan nodded gathering up some snow. "That's okay, I'll just make you more snowballs to--" A gentle snowball exploded over Pan's back, not even hitting hard enough to knock her over. Pan looked up in shock at Vegeta. "Am-- am I out?"

"Hey!" Goku snarled. "That wasn't fair, Vegeta! We were taking a time out!"

"I never agreed to a time out!" Vegeta shot back.

"So you had to take revenge on my _granddaughter_?"

" _Revenge_ would be a sizeable bruise on her arm. I'm just getting her off the field. I don't want to hold back anymore."

"It's alright, Papa," Pan assured him, heading to the sidelines. "I want hot cocoa anyway."

Goku nodded. "Fine, but no more tricks. It's just me and you, now."

"Damn straight!" Vegeta snarled. He bent down so he could scoop snow and toss it at Goku in fluid motions, and Goku did the same. In a flash they both went Super Saiyan, then started firing directly at each other. The barrage was so intense that the spectators could no longer see them through the haze of white.

A whistle blew.

Everyone stopped, looking over at Panchy who held the whistle in her hand. "You're out!"

The Saiyans stopped, looking at her. "What?" They asked in unison.

"You broke the rules," Panchy said simply. "Everyone agreed not to power up, but both of you did."

There were some whispers, and everyone looked around. "I mean, she's right," Yamcha said. "We never said the rule was lifted."

"So we're both out?" Goku asked blinking.

"That's absurd!" Vegeta snapped. "We changed the rule!"

"You're not the judges," Chichi laughed.

"Were the only ones left, we can't both lose!" Vegeta said, crossing his arms.

A throat cleared behind him. He spun around as Bulma stood up from behind their fort, holding their flag in her hand. "Um, hello? Did you forget about your _wife_?"

He gaped at her a minute, then grinned, pointing at Goku. "Ha! Bulma's the only one left! That means she can put the flag in and we win!"

"Maybe," she teased, stepping forward. "Or maybe I'll just forfeit since you _forgot_ about me."

Vegeta grumbled. "I don't think about you on the battlefield, Woman."

"Keep digging," she said, narrowing her eyes.

"What do you want from me? Just plant the flag!"

"Kiss me," she said with a smug smile.

_"What?"_

"Give me a kiss and I'll put the flag in their fort."

Goku grinned. "Aw, I've never actually seen you guys kiss!"

Vegeta was looking down, red in his cheeks. " _Later_ , Bulma," he mumbled quietly.

"Nope. Right now," she said. "Unless you'd rather just lose to Kakarot?"

He growled, stalking forward and placing a mechanical kiss on her cheek. She giggled, striding forward and shoving their flag into the Son's fort.

"Take that, Kakarot!" Vegeta clapped.

Goku laughed. "Wow, that was fun. We should do that every year."

As Bulla started talking to Pan excitedly about splitting all the stickers her father was going to buy her, Trunks covered his ears. He dropped his aching head against his knees. 

"Why are our families so _loud_?" He mumbled.


	8. Chapter 8

"I know they're around here somewhere…" Bulma mumbled, digging through the bags she'd brought with them. "Aha!" She held up the armful of stockings triumphantly. She'd had everyone's name put on the individual stockings before they arrived, and had a lot of presents to fill them with in the morning.

Bulma started carrying the stockings down the hall, calling out to see if someone would come help her. As she passed the hall closet it opened suddenly, and thick arms wrapped around her, yanking her into the small dark space.

Bulma gasped at first, unable to see anything as the door slammed shut behind her, and then she giggled. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and leaned forward. "What, you can't wait a few hours until bedtime?"

The body in front of her backed up quickly, bumping hard into the wall behind him. "I-- I'm not Vegeta!"

Bulma jerked her arms back, reaching for the light above them and pulling the string. "What? Gohan? What the  _ hell _ ?"

"I'm sorry, Bulma, I just--"

"Did you think I was Videl?"

"No, the thing is--"

"Then I'm sorry, Gohan, but I'm a happily married woman. Not that you're not a handsome young man, but--"

" _ Bulma _ , no! I mean I--  _ gross _ ."

She crossed her arms. "Excuse me?  _ Gross _ ?"

Gohan was beat red. "You-- you're like my aunt! I would never--"

"I'll have you know I'm still a very attractive woman, young man!" She snapped.

"Bulma,  _ please _ ," Gohan begged. "Listen, I just have a problem and I need your help, but I don't want Videl to hear us."

"Oh. Listen Gohan, if you have grown up questions, maybe you should talk to your dad."

"Bulma, a  _ gift _ ! Listen, Videl and I agreed not to get each other gifts this year, but Dad and Vegeta said they think that's a trap."

Bulma blinked at him. "Gohan, it's  _ Christmas Eve _ . You don't have a present for your wife?"

Gohan shook his head. "No. I don't know what I was thinking. I've been thinking about it since they said something, and I'm terrified they're right."

"Of course their right, what were you thinking? And why come to me?"

"Because… you're Bulma? I thought you might have a plan?"

Bulma hummed, rubbing her chin. "I am amazing. Still I don't know what-- oh!" She grabbed Gohan's shoulders. "Nevermind, I'm a genius. Listen carefully, then get out of here fast. If you're gone too long, she'll notice."

\-----------------------

 

"You're  _ sure _ this is an essential?" Vegeta asked skeptically, already appearing resigned to his fate.

Bulla nodded. "Mommy says Grandpa read it to her every year on Christmas Eve when she was little."

"Let's get this over with," he grumbled, flopping down into the chair near the fire.

Pan and Bulla both cheered from their places on the rug near him, quickly unwrapping the candy canes they'd saved for this event specifically.

"Vegeta, you forgot the book," Bulma called, heading towards him with the children's story he'd agreed to read.

"I don't need it. I read it last night. My memory is perfect."

She scoffed. "When's our anniversary?"

"Springtime. Either tell the story yourself or--"

She held up her hands defensively. "Fine, tell it from memory. I'm still going to show the girls the pictures."

"Aren't you two too old for this?" He snapped at the couple sitting on the couch. 

"Yeah, but I'm not missing this," Trunks chuckled. He was laying across the cushions, head in Goten's lap as the other young man held ice to his snowball injury. "I'm loaded up on Tylenol and spiked eggnog. Tell us a story, Dad."

Vegeta rolled his eyes. "Fine. It the night before Christmas and everyone was asleep. There were decorations everywhere. The vermin were asleep too."

Bulma turned opened the book to show the girls the sleeping mouse.

"The children went to bed because they were expecting Santa Claus, and apparently he burns your eyes if you see him--"

"Vegeta,  _ what _ ?" Bulma asked.

"What? They're not allowed to look at him, right?"

Bulla nodded knowingly. "He must be like one of those old gods where you go crazy if you look at his ugly face."

"Bulla, where did you hear that?"

"Trunks said that's what you look like without coffee."

"Lying, she's lying," Trunks swore quickly, covering his injury in case his mother threw the book at him.

"Can I tell the damn story?" Vegeta yelled. "Your mother and I had just gone to bed, when--"

"You mean you and Mom are in the story?" Bulla asked.

"The book said 'I'. It's not a factual account."

She nodded solemnly.

"We'd just gone to bed with hats on when I heard a loud bang in the front lawn. I got up immediately to deal with the intruder. It was bright outside because of the full moon, and I could see that outside someone was driving a strange vehicle. A chariot was tied to eight oxen--"

"Deer," Bulma whispered to the girls, pointing to the picture.

"Yes, Woman, what?"

"Nothing, Honey, keep going."

"He yelled out the oxen's names. Uh… Dancer… Prancer… Vixen… etcetera, and--"

"That didn't sound like eight, Vegeta," Goten smirked.

"It did not," Trunks agreed, grinning. "I've never heard all the names, can you remember them?"

"Of course I can! There was also the one with the head cold, and, uh… Comet! That was one. Also... Tarble, Nappa, and Raditz. That's eight. Anyway he whipped them all and told them to hurry the hell up."

Bulla narrowed her eyes. "This Santa whips his slaves?"

" _ No _ ," Bulma assured her. "He just asked them to go faster. And they're not slaves, they're his friends."

"Are they paid? Have they unionized?"

Bulma sighed, grateful no one had explained the concept of elves to her yet. "Yes. They are all given a year supply of carrots for each day they work. Oxen love carrots."

"Oh, good," Bulla said. "Keep going, Daddy."

"The oxen flew his chariot up onto our home, which is impressive due to its shape. I immediately shored up my defenses, powering up to fight him off. I checked that all the windows and doors were locked, but he decided to come down the chimney instead, the only place that had slipped my mind."

"Sneaky," Pan said.

"Very."

"What did he look like?" Bulla asked.

"Fat. Like you wrapped Majin Buu in a red tracksuit, but furrier."

"But he was smiling," Bulma stressed. "And he wasn't there to hurt anyone."

"I was getting to that. I said 'Get the hell out of my house!', and he said he was here to deliver toys to Bulla."

"Just me?" Bulla asked. "Why not Trunks?"

"Because he's a little shit."

"Vegeta," Bulma warned.

"Oh,  _ Santa _ said he's a little shit."

Trunks laughed loudly from the couch, instantly regretting it and grabbing his head.

"So I told Santa that I was willing to let him leave one toy for Bulla, assuming he allowed me to inspect it for traps. I did, and it checked out. His face was very red and he was covered in filth from the chimney. It looked like he'd been drinking, and he was unshaven with a large beard. He had a pipe in his mouth--"

"Ohhh," Bulma gasped. "We don't allow smoking in the house, do we Mommy?"

Bulma laughed nervously. "What? No. Never."

"This isn't how my Daddy reads the story," Pan mused.

"He put presents in the stockings we'd hung up in the room, but he was taking too long. I told him he'd outstayed his welcome. He agreed and acknowledged that I was the Prince of All Saiyans and he didn't want to piss me off, so he left. The oxen flew him away, and as he disappeared over the horizon he yelled--"

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night," Bulma said, closing the book.

"Yay!" The girls clapped, sucking on their candy canes. Trunks and Goten clapped dramatically.

"Alright girls, time to get ready for bed. Go get your pajamas on and you can start saying goodnight to everyone."

The two jumped up and ran to the room they shared to put on their nightclothes, and Bulma dropped into Vegeta's lap.

"Not bad. Ready to play Santa Claus?"

He darted his eyes briefly to the boys. "What kind of perks does that roleplay intail?"

"Goodnight!" Trunks and Goten shouted in unison, darting for their rooms.

\--------------------

 

It was late. Chichi walked into their room in a lovely nightgown and found Goku already lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with his arms folded behind this head. He smiled slightly when he saw her.

"New pajamas, Chi?"

She tugged on the red silk; it was Christmas themed, not scandalous by any stretch of the imagination, but to a woman so normally conservative as she was it was practically lingerie. "Do you like it?"

"Looks soft," he said, shrugging. "Bet it's comfortable."

Chichi sighed, switching off the light and slipping into bed. She wasn't sure what she was expecting. Goku barely had a licentious bone in his body. Of course he would judge a woman's nightgown on the texture. "Goodnight, Dear."

Normally this was the part where he said 'night Chi' and then fell asleep. Instead she felt him shift a bit closer. "Hey, it's past midnight."

"Oh," she said, glancing at the clock on her nightstand. "I suppose it is, technically. Merry Christmas, Goku."

"Merry Christmas, Chi. Hey, since it's tomorrow… can I have my present early?"

"It's wrapped and under the tree, Goku, you can wait."

He scooted a little closer, and his hot breath tickled her ear. A shiver ran down her spine. "I meant my other present. I wasn't sure I was gonna get it because there's so many people here."

She went red, laughing softly. " _ Goku _ . That's unlike you."

He shrugged, grinning. "You can have  _ your _ special present too."

She cast a guilty look at the door, wondering how thin the walls were. "Okay, just try to be quiet this time okay?"

He laughed. "No."


End file.
